On Boyfriends
by Arrhythmic Song
Summary: [PG-13][Shounen-Ai][DearkaYzak] 'Miriallia Haww here.' 'Yzak and Dearka make far, far more sense than Dearka and I ever, ever would.' 'I get this warm little glow of pride whenever I think of how I got those two emotionally-juvenile losers together.'
1. When Miriallia Met Dearka

On Boyfriends

28th May 2005

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Author's Note: This particular fic was inspired by SEED Destiny. Miri did say she'd 'dumped' Dearka, but when I saw him with Yzak he wasn't exactly too angsty about it... so here's my take on what really happened! Hopefully it's a refreshing angle to the DearkaYzak pairing... and disclaimer: I don't own any of SEED's pretty boys, because I don't own SEED. Clear? Now, let me go cry my eyes out in some corner of Alaska... 

R&R!

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Miriallia Haww here. Technically, I'm a civilian war photographer, but currently I'm sitting on the Archangel's bridge, doing communications for them while Cagalli gives big inspiring political talks to the Orb fighters who're with us. Somehow I've missed this job. I've missed the Archangel's crew, I guess, even if Ssigh and Kuzzey and Tolle – yes, I can say his name without breaking down – aren't here anymore. 

Speaking of boyfriends, earlier Murdock-san told me I wouldn't be able to get myself a boyfriend if I continued to stay here, and someone asked me about Elthman. Dearka, if you don't know, that guy who let himself be demoted from that elite red uniform to the green one so he could return to ZAFT with a certain somebody. I told him I dumped Dearka – which is, in a way, quite true. I don't understand why everyone thinks I'm connected to Dearka in more than a friendly way...

Not that he's a bad guy – would probably make a pretty good boyfriend; for all that he was a ZAFT pilot, a bit of a cocky arsehole and the fact that I tried to stab him before, when he was a Earth Alliance prisoner of war. I wouldn't have minded trying, really, and we did, for a while there. Exchanged a couple of letters, vid calls, etc, etc...

But no relationship can survive when there's a third party, especially when your so-called boyfriend and the third party are so obviously in Denial, capital letter and all.

Yzak Jule.

It was almost laughable at first, because the glowering jealousy could probably be felt off Yzak for a mile radius whenever he saw me and Dearka together, but Dearka was patently blind to it. And in fact, I don't even think Yzak was actually aware of the fact that he was jealous as hell. (For goodness' sake, _Athrun _is the green-eyed one.)

So, now whenever they mention 'Elthman' to me, I end up repressing the terrible urge to snicker and blurt their cute little secret all over the place. I'm just stunned that, firstly, it took them so long, and secondly, that no one has put two and two together. Or if they have, they think it makes three.

For the love of little Coordinator babies (which the two of them might just end up having sooner or later), Dearka sleeps in Yzak's _room_. Which, for all that it's the spacious accommodations of a Commander, has only _one _bed. (Bodyguard. _Body_guard, yes.) Are they all _blind? _

And in fact, Yzak and Dearka make far, far more sense than Dearka and I ever, ever would. They've known each other since military school. They've seen the battlefield together, tried to save each other's lives. Dearka is Yzak's best – _only_, the anti-social loser – friend. They've been through more together emotionally than I could ever hope for with Dearka. It only makes sense that they should enjoy peacetime together as well.

I get this warm little glow of pride whenever I think of how I got those two emotionally-juvenile losers together.

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'Miriallia! Miriallia Haww!' I turned from my window shopping in the streets of PLANT to notice the blond-haired, violet-eyed pilot of the Buster Gundam, waving vigorously in the distance, approaching me quickly. I waved back, noticing he was out of uniform and dressed in a black shirt with black slacks and looking a great deal more relaxed. 

'You _do_ remember me, right?' he asked, having caught up to me.

'Well, _gee_, Dearka Elthman, no, I don't remember the former pilot of Buster whom I tried to stab at all,' I replied sharply, rolling my eyes.

He laughing, falling into stride alongside me. 'Fine, fine, I get the hint, Miriallia.'

'Miri will do fine,' I said nonchalantly, regarding him. He hadn't changed much after all – definitely that cocky personality that had shoved me over the edge in the infirmary was still firmly in place. It was in his stance, the way he walked, the tone of voice with which he talked, even.

'Are you busy?'

'No, not really. Why?'

'Just thought we could go for a cup of coffee and catch up on old times. For instance, what happened during the three months Yzak and I spent rotting in jail for being traitorous bastards to the ZAFT military,' he said, rolling his eyes and shuddering dramatically. 'I'll treat.'

'Ah. Sure, then,' I acquiesced. 'But I'm paying for myself.'

So it was a pretty enjoyable chat – and it was, of course, the first time I'd heard of Yzak Jule. I supposed I should have been clued in even then, because Dearka didn't really stop talking about him. At that time, I put it down to them being best of friends. Boy, was I wrong.

'So let me get this straight. They stuck you guys in prison for three months?'

'Well, I think they were trying to decide what the hell they were going to _do _with us. And post-war, there are lots of admin things to get done – thank god that being a pilot exempts you from stupid, stupid paperwork... and not to mention the fact that there were actually a lot of deserters, breaches of military protocol...'

'I see.'

'But I should be glad, I guess. Yzak and I would have faced the firing squad if it weren't for the influence of Yzak's mother and Chairman Dullindal.'

Dullindal. PLANT's enigmatic chairman. Yzak has served under him, both as a part of the High Council and later as a Commander... and by all accounts – even by what Athrun said, he's a dangerous man. Not necessarily on the wrong side, or doing the wrong thing... but what he's doing... it's doubtable. (Yes, I may be just a lowly communications officer, while Kira and Cagalli and the rest are Really Important People, but I can still think.)

'Who's this Yzak, anyway?' I asked, curious.

And that set him off immediately. I got a half-hour life story of how Yzak and himself had met, gotten to know each other, how Yzak was such a bastard but not too bad once you got to know him... blah. Blah. You get the picture.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again – Dearka is possibly one of Yzak's only friends (dare I consider myself, a lowly _Natural_, one too?) Possibly because Dearka is, incredibly enough, not irritated by Yzak in a bad way. He's irritated – he just likes it. (After all, he might just be masochistic. Go ask Yzak.) They met, they argued, they became friends.

Amazing, isn't it? Their story is similar to, but just... different from Kira and Athrun's. Kira and Athrun's friendship is built on their shared childhood, their love for one another from way back. I guess that's why it hurt so much for Kira to fight Athrun in the Strike, because it meant contradicting everything he knew. Yzak and Dearka... they're different, because for most of the time they were on the same side, standing back to back... offering each other comfort, if what I know of a pilot's after-reactions are true. (From a firsthand source: no less than the infamous pilot of Freedom, Kira Middle-Name-Angst Yamato.)

So our first chat – more like Dearka blabbering about Yzak – ended on a pleasant note, after Dearka took one panicked look at his watch, and informed me, panicking, that he had to go and pick up Yzak after the High Council meeting, swapped contact numbers with me in a very panicked fashion and drove off at a very panicky speed.

The next meeting, I actually got to meet Yzak Jule. (Oh, someone catch me, I'm going to faint.)

Signing off, Miriallia Haww.

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Author's Note: I wrote this ona flash of inspiration, at an unearthly hour of the day with way too much caffeine in my bodily system. Thank you for reading thus far and stick around for the next chatper! And don't forget - what is crack to a writer? Reviews! And what does crack do to a writer? It makes her write more, and faster! Therefore reviews crack next chapter. Good? -smile- 


	2. When Miriallia Met Yzak

On Boyfriends

When Miriallia Met Yzak

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Author's Note: Alright, it's been a busy month for me! School trip to Japan! It was cool, but it kept me from the com... well, anyway, here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it, and here's the standard disclaimer.

The boys of Gundam Seed (Destiny) do not belong to me. Or else, DearkaYzak would be CANON. Not FANON.

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I think I might have clued Lacus in to the whole Dearka – Yzak thing. Either that, or there's another reason why she's extra smiley today. (Never smirky. Lacus Clyne, is never, ever smirky.) It's just that we were discussing how guys were all irritating, which naturally led me to the subject of Dearka and Yzak. Miriallia Haww does not like arrogant bastards. Which, I suppose, is why Yzak Jule and I didn't get off to the best of starts.

Starts, I hear you say knowingly. In case you're thinking that after a while, everything became peachy-keen between us, don't get me wrong – it wasn't just the start. I still happen to think Yzak is a conceited guy with a stick up his ass (with an expression to match it, no less). Just that now, he's a little more tolerable, now that the stick's not the only thing up his ass.

After a bit of hindsight, our first meeting probably went down in Dearka's little black book as 'The Day I Suffered A Lot of Pain'.

In fact, later on in the day he called me, like a sweet, dutiful boyfriend does. Only, our phone conversation went something like this.

'Hello, this is Miriallia Haww speaking.'

'Miri.' Please imagine here a tone of unimaginable pathos and heartbreak. And you know what? I think it was actually _genuine_.

'Dearka? What's wrong?' It's generally thought impossible for most humans to inject so much utter tragedy into their voice. To do so, you generally have to be 1) Kira Middle-Name-Angst Yamato 2) an anime character who's just found out he's fighting his childhood best friend and 3) a Dearka who's just been rejected by one Yzak Jule.

'Yzak's not talking to me anymore!'

Imagine my utter silence. (What could I have said? Oh, poor darling, it's okay, baby, he's such a bastard, he doesn't deserve you?)

'And I don't know why!'

Imagine my utter, utter silence. (What could I have said? Oh, sweetie, don't cry, it's just, you know, that time of the month, it'll be okay in a couple of days...)

'Miri?'

Maybe I should have said it. As it was, I said, 'Well, maybe he's just tired today, or something.' (Well done, Miriallia, forever the voice of reason when you _know _you _really _want to be the voice of snark…) 'Did you do anything to upset him?'

'No!'

'Was he angry at you yesterday?'

'No!'

'So it must have been something you did today,' I reasoned, resignedly carrying the phone with me to the kitchen to get a cup of tea. This was going to be a _long _conversation. 'This morning? Was he angry yet?'

'No!'

'So... the two of you went to work, I presume?' I waited for Dearka's noise of assent before continuing. 'And then... lunch?'

'Sheesh, I was with you all through lunch! Miri, that's what I'm telling you, I can't think of anything I've done today to make him even remotely mad, and worse, he swears he's not mad at me, but he has that pissy look on his face that _screams _he's mad at me,' Dearka finally finished. One breath, not bad.

'He could be mad at someone else?' I suggested. Dearka dismissed it immediately. You see what I mean? Dearka has spent so much time tiptoeing rings around Yzak's incredible temper that he's immediately capable of identifying a I'm-Pissed-at-Work, a I'm-Pissed-at-the-World-in-General, a I'm-Pissed-at-_Ass_run-Zala, and a I'm-Pissed-at-YOU-Dearka-and-you-had-better-find-out-why-very-very-soon-and-come-placate-me-or-you're-locked-out-of-the-bedroom-for-the-next-week.

'Okay. You've known Yzak longer than me. What have you done today out of the ordinary? Even if it's a really small thing.'

'NOTHING!'

'Nothing? You sure?'

'Wait. Lunch with you. Generally I eat lunch with him.'

_Bingo. _

'Bingo.'

'Miri, you can't be telling me Yzak's jealous about me eating lunch with you.'

'I shrug, Dearka. I _shrug_.'

Actually, when I thought about it, it was quite possible. If Yzak had been a girl (something I'm still not quite sure of), he'd probably have stormed up to me and said something along the lines of 'What the hell do you think you're doing with my boyfriend'. Worse, he? she? it? would have bitch-slapped me without warning. (Oh I shudder. I shud-der.)

So essentially, Miriallia Haww had been on her way to see the newspaper editor, to hand him the latest photos (Remember, Miri, this editor wants no pictures of the ZAFT army getting their arses kicked, those are for the _other _editor, the one who secretly believes Dullindal is an alien mushroom bent on terrorizing the world) of Impulse kicking ass, and her phone rang in the lobby of the newspaper building.

She realizes it's Dearka Elthman and picks up the phone. (The phone seems to be featuring a lot in her life lately.) 'Dearka? What's up?'

'You free for lunch, Miri?'

'I will be... in about half an hour, maybe?'

'Great. There's this really nice little restaurant off Main Street; it has the best pasta. I'll pick you up?'

'Fine by me – I'm in the _ZAFT_ _Herald _Headquarters. Just wait outside, if you don't mind – I have to see the editor.'

'Will do. See you in half an hour, then!'

So Miriallia Haww, shutting the phone and putting it away, simply proceeds to get on with her perfectly civilian life. And then, half an hour later, Dearka Elthman is waiting outside the building, waiting to get her for lunch. She tells her reporter friend goodbye. The reporter friend raises an eyebrow. 'You're going on a date with Dearka Elthman? I thought he was gay with Jule?'

I shrug, my dear friend. I _shrug_. (You see, there are too many things in life that are out of our control. You must learn to shrug and go with the flow. Zen... _that_ is truly all.)

(Right.)

So Miriallia hops on down the stairs and then gets into the car. All good. Dearka drives like a madman – a habit probably picked up in avoidance of paparazzi trying to catch him being 'gay with Jule' (not that he _isn't_! even if the two themselves didn't know it at that time!) So they go, they park, they find a seat at nice little café. It has good ambience. Even after I 'broke up' with Dearka, I still liked going there. Of course, now I'm stuck with the ship's cafeteria... no offense to the cook. (I wouldn't want to offend a woman with the arms of a man. A very strong man.)

So lunch proceeds. The pasta is good, and Dearka is good at telling stories – or at least, gossiping. Miriallia likes the idea of blackmail, because who would ever have guessed that at one point Athrun had _loud- _emphasis on the loud there! – fantasies of one of his childhood best friends? (These teenage boys... if you can't get your fiancée to sleep with you, settle for second best and jerk off to images of your best friend? It's wince-worthy, I tell you.)

And so lunch proceeds. Dearka talks of the people he has to meet now, people who glance at him and see only the green uniform. He is generally pissed off by people like this, and can't do anything about it, but at least most of the time the people who piss him off piss Yzak too, for some reason. And if you piss Yzak off he'll generally decimate you. (Unless you're Zala. To date, Yzak has never managed to get the better of Athrun Zala. It's the uke-complex acting up in the presence of a more dominant male, and please don't tell Dearka I said that.)

And so lunch proceeds. (Is that line getting a little old by now?) Okay, lunch continues. And it continues fine until another car screams up to us. (That habit learned in avoidance of paparazzi trying to catch him being 'gay with Elthman'.) And one Yzak Jule gets out, looking as if he expects the world to fall at his feet and worship. (It's the hair. Guys with good hair are always terribly egoistic.)

'Yzak!' Dearka calls, smiling. (He didn't know the shit he was getting into, the poor boy... the cogs in Yzak's mind must have already been turning the minute he saw Dearka with me. _Can't kill the girl, but can put Dearka through hell and back..._)

'Dearka,' Yzak greets, turning to Miriallia Haww. Immediately Miri decides she does not like Yzak Jule. (Arrogant people have lovely mannerisms but the eyes always, always, always give them away. For Yzak, that's not necessary. _Everything_ screams arrogant.)

'Oh, Yzak, this is Miriallia Haww. Miri, Yzak Jule.'

Miri is determined to be polite. 'It's nice to meet you.'

'Nice to meet you too.'

Neither of them offer their hands for a shake.

'I've never heard Dearka mention you before, Miriallia.' _Just who the hell are you and why the hell are you eating lunch with my boyfriend? _

'It must have slipped his mind, I suppose.' Insert false laugh here. 'But I've definitely heard a lot about you.' _Who are _you_? The jealous ex? And I'll eat lunch with anyone I please._

'Yes, Dearka is like that,' Yzak admits gracefully, staring pure murder at me. _You should be glad we're in a public place._

'You two have known each other quite some time, haven't you?' _Rawr. I'm terrified. _

'You could say so.' _Keep your paws off him. _

'Yes. Dearka has told me a lot about you.' _Miaow. _

Silence ensues. Yzak turns to Dearka, tells him that there's a meeting at three. Drives off.

Dearka is oblivious. (Ah, happy are the ignorant.)

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was How Miriallia Haww Met Yzak Jule.

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Author's Note: How was it? Review! Remember, reviews are crack to an author and she needs them to live or she will die of the hunger and not be able to write anymore...


	3. On Shopping

On Boyfriends

18th September 2005

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Author's Note: My many apologies for the long wait - I was kinda stuck for inspiration, really. If you're still around, thank you so much! It might be a while before the next update, though, because my exams are coming up. The mugging comes fast and furious and writing this was really quite a stress reliever, so I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did! Thank you!

Disclaimer: SEED, SEED DESTINY not mine. And etc. I might never get over the heartbreak, but I'm moving on...

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The political system around here is beginning to heat up – there've been a bunch of broadcasts made by the false Lacus – what was her name again? Meer, Mia... it was easier when I just thought of her as 'the slut' and of Dullindal as 'her pimp', but that's not the point, is it now. The point is that she's been busy crapping about how Dullindal is right and all...

Please. She is the living (probably not for long, though, if I know anything about how politics work) evidence that he is so far past wrong they probably call it deluded. Lacus and the others are worrying like hell – thank god I'm just a simple communications officer. It certainly gives me more time to muse on how Dearka and Yzak are taking Dullindal's 'Kill Logos! Kill them all to bits! I are King of the World!' speeches.

And speaking of those two... Yzak is wonderfully gay, really. Only gay men say that wearing pink is a confirmation of how secure they are in their heterosexuality. (Excuse me while I go cough up blood and guts.) Just like how Kira Yamato insists that wearing buckles and straps and chokers is not an indication of his bondage fetish. Yzak looks good in pink, there's no denying it, but it doesn't help quash paparazzi rumours any.

(As a side note, every tabloid reporter I ever knew insists that Dearka's the one on the bottom. They just can't see that _standing behind _every domineering Commander is the guy who's secretly screwing him into absolute submission.)

But if we're talking about fashion sense... guys are just plain weird. I'd been meeting Dearka for a while, lunch, dinner, chats, a drink, things like that... it was about the fith pseudo-date that he turned up wearing the same thing he'd worn on the fourth. Albert Einstein may have owned seven white shirts with black pants so he never had to think too much about clothes, but if you ask me, Albert Einstein was a total fuddy-duddy.

It went something like this, really...

* * *

'Miri? Why are you looking at me like that?' (With the unspoken implication of _looking at me like I just told you I had a fantasy involving the Chairman and an electric blue dildo._)

'Dearka... did you even wash that?' Please picture me, with this I-am-very-afraid look on my face, pointing one trembling finger (not _that _finger, there were little children around) at his shirt.

'This?' He had the gall to pluck at his shirt and look _puzzled. _Clueless. 'Yeah, why?'

I breathed a sigh of relief. It's easier to eat lunch when you realize the person sitting across from you isn't wearing a three-day old shirt. (Worse, it probably had Yzak-cooties on it.) 'Dearka, you were wearing that shirt three days ago. That's why.'

'This happens to be one of my favourite shirts, Miri.' I sighed. Dearka has always been thoroughly casual about what he wears – the shirt in question was a white button-down. I give him credit, he knows what to wear to set his colouring off, but there _is _such a thing as too much of a good thing.

'Dearka. I know it looks good, but seriously, it doesn't leave a good impression when you wear the same thing twice in the row so close together, you know?' _Congratulations, Miriallia, you're a mother at the age of eighteen, to a baby your age._ 'Don't you have anything else that's nice to wear?'

'Not really.' At this point in time, Miriallia Haww makes a firm resolution that she will never have kids if they are anywhere near this retarded.

'It's time you got some, then,' I said with an air of (pretty desperate) finality. 'I know you're in uniform most of the time, but seriously, when was the last time you went shopping?'

'With Yzak, I guess.' You see what I mean.

'That tears it, we're going now, Dearka.'

'Uh, Miri... Yzak's kind of... expecting me...' You see what I mean.

'He can do without your scintillating company for a while. We're going shopping. Be a dutiful boyfriend, come along and carry my packages.'

Very few people can really argue with me when I'm determined to get them to do something. So that was essentially how Yzak ended up being deprived of Dearka's scintillating company for a couple of hours – he threw a bitch fit later, or so I heard, and didn't even understand why he was throwing one, who said Coordinators are supposed to be smarter? – and we ended up in a shopping mall, browsing racks and racks of clothes.

'Miri? Can we please not do this?' Dearka was looking distinctly uncomfortable, looking around at the milling crowds of women, some of which were schoolgirls pointing at him and giggling. 'I've never really done this before.'

'You've been around with Yzak, haven't you?' I asked, flipping through the hangers even as he fidgeted beside me. 'Besides, they're still young. Let them enjoy such a fine specimen of manhood as yourself, they may never have the chance to again.'

'Miri... you're kidding, right?' he voice was faintly scared, especially since he was wearing such a kicked-puppy expression, that kind of look that says _what-have-I-done-to-deserve-this_. It would have been terrible of me to laugh at him, so instead, I said, 'What makes you think I'm joking?'

He gulped and gazed at the Giggle Group (ooh, alliteration) with a faintly hunted expression. I laughed anyway. 'Seriously, Dearka, you have no idea of how to handle women. What size are you?'

'Uh...'

'Never mind, you look like size eight. How about this one?' I asked, grabbing a T-shirt off the rack and holding it up to him. 'Go try.'

'I don't think-'

'Dearka, don't argue with me?' I sighed, pushing him towards the changing room. 'Go on. Shoo.' Maybe this is what Lacus feels like when she goes shopping with Kira.

He came out, looking thoroughly bemused. I'd always thought that the malls were decidedly not a male's natural environment, less so for a guy like Dearka, who's in uniform half the time and more. Of course, circumstances change, as I found out later...

I regarded him for a moment, then smiled. 'This looks fine, it'll be good for warm weather. Go and change out of it, and then we'll move on.'

While he disappeared a second time, a salesgirl approached. 'May I help you, ma'am?'

'Oh, not really, just waiting for someone.' I gestured at the door.

'Yes, I saw. I know him, he's Dearka Elthman, isn't he? He comes here with Mr. Jule, sometimes,' she mentioned.

It was then that Dearka exited and saw the salesgirl. 'Hey, Tina,' he exclaimed. 'Still here?'

'Yeah, job prospects haven't gotten any better since the last time,' she sighed, 'What with the war and all, the best I could try for is a military career as a comms officer or something,' she mentioned.

'You shouldn't, really,' I cut in. 'I was a comms officer, it isn't all that great. I know they all say it's safe, but it never really is. Just stay here, civilians have a better chance.'

She gave me an appraising look. 'Thanks...'

'Miriallia, Miriallia Haww. You can call me Miri, though,' I offered.

'I'm Tina,' she answered, smiling. 'Speaking of which, Mr. Elthman, there're a couple of things that might suit Mr. Jule over there. Would you want to take a look?'

'Sure!' Whoa, sudden three sixty mood swing there. 'Where?' _So much for 'I've never really done this before'. You really could've fooled me for a moment there, Dearka. _

'Over there. If you would follow me...' and suddenly the roles have been reversed, and it's Miriallia Haww trailing along behind Dearka Elthman, who's browsing the shirts (pink, baby blue, lavender, light grey, pastel, pastel, pastel) with Tina. Miriallia Haww doesn't mind, though, it is a very good chance to make hilarious observations that can be immortalized in memory and laughed at again and again.

'What do you think of this one?' Tina asked him, pointing out the purple one. Dearka regarded it for a moment, then shook his head decisively. (I rather imagine that's the tone he uses when he goes dominant on Yzak. Probably turns the Commander on no end.) 'No, the blue one will go better with his eyes. And besides, Yzak is no fan of purple.'

'You're the boss,' Tina said amusedly, smiling as she plucked one from the rack.

'Uh, Tina, size seven, please,' Dearka mentioned, plucking another one from the shelf and handing it to the salesgirl.

It says a lot when you know someone else's size but not your own.

'And do you have that in silk? Yzak has a thing for nice fabrics,' Dearka added as an afterthought, idly flipping through the racks, entirely absorbed in his task even as Tina nodded and bustled off, following slowly behind her.

It also says a lot when you know what're the _nice fabrics_ that someone else likes. (It's also a fact that Yzak gets turned on by leather. Or more precisely, Dearka in leather. I must remember to send them a nice whip for Christmas.)

'If you don't mind, I'll go check out the slacks. Get one of those in the pink and grey shades too, please,' Dearka muttered, heading off in another direction altogether. Tina nodded (Dearka missed the smirk, clueless male) and moved towards the storerooms.

'Why don't you just buy him his boxers while you're at it?' I said, coming up behind him.

'Yzak is more a briefs person,' Dearka said nonchalantly.

I choked. Shirts I can believe, slacks I can believe, but _this bloody takes the cake. _

But Miriallia Haww is a wise person. She says nothing, but immediately changes the topic with great skill. What kind of underwear Yzak likes is way too much information for _this_ girl. Insert suppressed shudder here. 'You might have a better wardrobe if you shopped for yourself with as much alacrity as you did for Yzak.'

Dearka eyed me with a what-are-you-talking-about expression. I sighed and patted him on the arm. 'Never mind.'

I'll be fair to the guy and say that he did accompany me while I shopped for myself, but he was nowhere near as attentive, and he'd gone right back to distracted!Dearka, along with a dash of what-am-I-doing-again?Dearka.

I rather gathered from Dearka that Yzak threw a tantrum for the millionth and second time when he found out that he'd been shopping with me, but was amply placated when he found out Dearka had bought him shirts.

Gay doesn't get any gayer.

(And for all you screaming fangirls out there, Yzak likes black briefs. Though credible sources tell me he has a lacy pink G-string tucked away in the back of his closet.)

Yours in pain, horror and information overload, Miriallia Haww.

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Author's Note: As usual - if you liked it, review, and tell me what I can do to improve! 


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